21 Days Later

It seems like it must all be a dream. Only I still haven't woken up. I feel guilty for not being sad. I feel sad because I think I shouldn't feel guilty. I've actually been able to talk about what's going on without bursting into tears. Does that mean I no longer care? I decided where I want to go to school. I'm the only one who has a plan for the future beyond tomorrow. Does that make me a horrible person? Everyone keeps telling me I need to move on and let the "adults" handle it. I am an adult. I've been an adult since this started when I was 16. We're finding out through other people that it's been going on for as long as people can remember. Maybe I've never known him clean. Will I like him more? Will I even know who he is? Will he know who were are without the cloud of stupor?