Is this all I have to look forward to?

The camel's back broke today. My dad has gone to the Mission so that my mom can figure out what she's going to do. That little worn-out scrap of rug is gone and now I'm left rubbing my sore bum. The school says my application is 'Decided' and I put my hat in the ring for about six different scholarships. I should be excited. Instead I'm crying and my head hurts. I look awful and I feel even worse. I want a hug without needing to ask for it. Papa Roach's "Scars" about sums up the whole mess. And the thing that worries me the most is that I'm just like him...

What do you say when there aren't any words that work?

Everyone thinks I need to talk about what's going on. That assumes there's actually something I can say. Talking hasn't helped. Yelling didn't help. Cajoling, coddling, denying, confronting, supporting, loving; it hasn't helped. The tears hurt. My eyes are so worn out that they don't want me to cry anymore. The problem isn't that I'm not okay with everything, the problem is that my being okay with everything has lead to more pain. I want to scream, yell, punch things, throw stuff; but all that comes is a whimper. I just want my daddy back.