Talk and the so-called "art" of fine language is such a crock. I know people who use language to spin a web of lies and then injure the parties involved. They also use abusive language just to get a rise out of people they know can't defend themselves properly. These people should be known as monsters but, alas, they appear harmless enough to get away with their abuses. They have brains enough to know that children should not be subject to their torture and yet the children love them. These people call their abuse humor. I hope to at least be there to watch their comeuppance if I am not the one initiating it.
I suppose this all is tied to the dream I had. Only the person divvying out the abuse wasn't someone I know and I was able to defend myself. I've never punched anyone but boy did it feel good in that dream. There were other people in my dream but the involved parties don't need to know about it. In fact the only person I may tell isn't even a person.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
All right some of you peeps needs a little info...
First of all, regarding the box of stuff, not actually his stuff, just stuff I have that reminds me of him. Pics, notes, etc.
Second off, I had forgiven him for the previous stuff he had done. That doesn't mean that the impact he had on my life was completely wiped away. He was, and I feel secure enough to say is, a major part of my life. Even if it wasn't anything more than a friendship he was still the first guy I ever felt secure enough with to actually let him know who I was. I didn't realize that wasn't allowed to be a big deal?
And finally, I don't see the point in having a "friendship" where it is one-sided. That's the reason most of the former friends I have got to be there. If only one person feels safe enough to reveal who they truelly are then it's not really a friendship. So while I may seem cold and unfeeling, it's only because you denied my ability to connect with you on a bit deeper of a level. Until you either feel comfortable with allowing me to get to know you or decide I'm not worth the trouble(whoops that's already been chosen!) then don't bother.
Oh and a little P.S. I have a prom coming up and I am secure enough to go alone. No Sadie Hawkins for me this year! ^.~
Second off, I had forgiven him for the previous stuff he had done. That doesn't mean that the impact he had on my life was completely wiped away. He was, and I feel secure enough to say is, a major part of my life. Even if it wasn't anything more than a friendship he was still the first guy I ever felt secure enough with to actually let him know who I was. I didn't realize that wasn't allowed to be a big deal?
And finally, I don't see the point in having a "friendship" where it is one-sided. That's the reason most of the former friends I have got to be there. If only one person feels safe enough to reveal who they truelly are then it's not really a friendship. So while I may seem cold and unfeeling, it's only because you denied my ability to connect with you on a bit deeper of a level. Until you either feel comfortable with allowing me to get to know you or decide I'm not worth the trouble(whoops that's already been chosen!) then don't bother.
Oh and a little P.S. I have a prom coming up and I am secure enough to go alone. No Sadie Hawkins for me this year! ^.~
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
And so I got a C
Okay so maybe a bit of backround is called for.
The speech I posted was for my public speaking class that I am taking at the community college across town. On Saturday I had to do my speech in front of the class. I was kinda excited by the fact that there were only 11 people there including the teacher. And that was about it. I thought I had my speech memorized to the point that I wouldn't need much help. HA! I got done with the introduction and completely lost my spot. I had to go back and get the preperation outline from the teacher. I rushed through the rest of the speech because I was about ready to cry. I'm pretty sure I came in at two minutes under time and we get docked a letter grade for every minute we're under. And so I got a C.
Our next speech is a persuasive speech. It's not due until mid-April. I am doing a speech called "The Air up There: The Truth About the "Hole" In the Ozone Layer". I know that the topic is broad enough to cover the 6-8 minutes but specific enough that it can't wander. I am starting my research today or tomorrow. But I am having more than internet sources for this one just in case. I refuse to accept that I can only do a C speech. I am a good writer and a C is not the kind of work I normally do.
I already have my opening statement: I am here today to prove to you a supposedly well-known fact is not true. There is not a hole in the ozone layer the way everyone has been told.
I am so paranoid that I am going to do badly that I am going to spend two weeks on writing and research and then another three to four on practicing it. Because of the personal nature of my last speech it was very difficult for me to practice it in front of people I know. Not this time. I feel very strongly about this topic and I will not accept anything less than a B. I hope to make it an 8 minute speech. Though I am slightly worried that I will be mauled or otherwise accosted after I am done because there are a couple of "enviro-nuts" in my class. I won't accept any questions after I am done for fear of starting a heated debate.
The speech I posted was for my public speaking class that I am taking at the community college across town. On Saturday I had to do my speech in front of the class. I was kinda excited by the fact that there were only 11 people there including the teacher. And that was about it. I thought I had my speech memorized to the point that I wouldn't need much help. HA! I got done with the introduction and completely lost my spot. I had to go back and get the preperation outline from the teacher. I rushed through the rest of the speech because I was about ready to cry. I'm pretty sure I came in at two minutes under time and we get docked a letter grade for every minute we're under. And so I got a C.
Our next speech is a persuasive speech. It's not due until mid-April. I am doing a speech called "The Air up There: The Truth About the "Hole" In the Ozone Layer". I know that the topic is broad enough to cover the 6-8 minutes but specific enough that it can't wander. I am starting my research today or tomorrow. But I am having more than internet sources for this one just in case. I refuse to accept that I can only do a C speech. I am a good writer and a C is not the kind of work I normally do.
I already have my opening statement: I am here today to prove to you a supposedly well-known fact is not true. There is not a hole in the ozone layer the way everyone has been told.
I am so paranoid that I am going to do badly that I am going to spend two weeks on writing and research and then another three to four on practicing it. Because of the personal nature of my last speech it was very difficult for me to practice it in front of people I know. Not this time. I feel very strongly about this topic and I will not accept anything less than a B. I hope to make it an 8 minute speech. Though I am slightly worried that I will be mauled or otherwise accosted after I am done because there are a couple of "enviro-nuts" in my class. I won't accept any questions after I am done for fear of starting a heated debate.
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