So I haven't written for several months. I had and quit my first full-time job, went to Greensboro for college, and got a boyfriend/fiancee(no ring yet, not that it is any less of a reality). Having never been off on my own for any considerable length of time, being at school has given me some odd perspective. I realize that I'm still holding a lot of anger/resentment against my dad because he isn't acting like anything has changed. He's still living at the mission yet he still thinks he gets to control my life. I understand advice but he is going beyond advice giving. I think the final straw was when he compared my relationship with B to his addiction to inhalants. Where does he come up with these and what the hell makes that a logical progression?! I know it's not healthy to harbor those kind of feelings against people but if I don't have that then there is no feeling there. You shouldn't be able to say that about your parents. There should be some kind of feeling associated with them, even if it is anger/resentment.
My dad does like B, but dad has misconceptions about B because of the way my dad is now. I can't even be myself around my dad, I feel bad because B can't either. It's sad to me that my parents can't love B for all of who he is the way that I do; but unless everything changes, that's just the reality of it all. I think it suffices to say, in answer to the question I posed in my last post, that no I don't like who my dad is now. And despite the sadness that brings me, I can't change it.
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