There's always something there to remind me...

I was going to write a long-winded and heart-felt rant about my love-life, though really the lack there-of. Fortunately for everyone, I have decided against it. Instead I will stare at the screen until I think of something else to say. Well, after I rinse out the hair dye and then take a shower. Yes, you read correctly. I dyed my hair. Just a chunk on the front left side. It's this lovely dark mahogany red-brown. It shows up really well on my blond-red-light brown color layered hair. I have light brown roots, blond for about three inches and then auburn/red tips. I like the new color though. I may just dye my whole head. Though the dye really stinks. It made my eyes water. And it's really runny. Oh well. It's a nice effect anyways. If people don't notice then they must be blind or they just don't care.

Tiny bubbles.... bubbles aplenty....

I am the only 17 year old I know that sits out on my front porch blowing bubbles, without being high. Well not that I know anybody that gets high... -_-" I actually blew bubbles until I had a headache; and kept blowing more. I didn't realize how hard it actually is to blow a bubble. I focused on it and made myself giggle because I couldn't actually do it. I am not afraid of being seen blowing bubbles. I am waiting for a guy that's the same way. And I am not afraid of dancing down the aisles of a shoe store if I like the music. Or any store for that matter. So the first guy that dances with me in a store like that is obviously going to be a very special person in my heart. As long as he isn't really old :P

The fantabulous, amazing, BUSY summer!

I have gone more places this summer than I've gone in all the summers of my life. I have been to camp, the beach(a couple times), White Lake, I got a pedicure, I've been roller skating, I've seen a movie at the theater, and I've still managed to have time to watch cartoons, take care of my dog, and pine over not having a "signifigant other". I have also managed to write a story that's at least 11 pages long, note book paper, front and back. Really I guess you can consider the "chin altering experiance" part of my summer as well. And I am leaving tomorrow on a two week "vacation" to my Aunt and Uncle's house in Cochranton, PA. My closest-in-age cousin is there, she's a little over two years older than me. I have no idea what we'll be doing, but maybe I will find a husband :P. These are my Mennonite relatives so marrying young is no big deal. It would certainly be funny if I come back after two weeks and say, "Oh yeah, mom, dad, I'm married and moving to PA." Ok, well maybe I would find it funny even if nobody else did. Either way, I'm leaving tomorrow morning and I haven't even started packing yet. I pretty much know what I'm taking it's just a matter of putting it in the bag. Oh well. Another trip, another bag packed.

Operation: Birthday Funtastic...

was a complete success. We had a few laughs, got our toenails painted, roller skated, and watched Madagascar(funny movie, the dvd should be interesting). It was the best surprise I have ever pulled off. Oh wait it's also the ONLY... Oh well...
I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. MOVE IT! *dances around*

Awww....

No one cares that I have a plan...
Oh well. It's more for me than anyone anyways. So anyways... I love the new Kelly Clarkson song, Behind These Hazel Eyes. Sure I could have used it almost a year and a half ago but still. It's very applicable to the emotions I have gone through. If a guy understood what she is singing about and not just sympathize then maybe he's the guy I've been waiting for...

Seems like just yesterday

You were a part of me

I used to stand so tall

I used to be so strong

Your arms around me tight

Everything, it felt so right

Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong

Now I can't breathe

No, I can't sleep

I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything

Opened up and let you in

You made me feel alright

For once in my life

Now all that's left of me

Is what I pretend to be

So together, but so broken up inside

'Cause I can't breathe

No, I can't sleep

I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out

For hating you, I blame myself

Seeing you it kills me now

No, I don't cry on the outside

Anymore...

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

I have a plan

So lately I've been coming up with these story ideas that whirl around in my head until I write them down. They haven't been particularly good or even interesting, though one is really long. One of them is more written about what I'd like to have happen in my life even though it is fairly far-fetched. Though interestingly enough part of it has happened, but it's not the part that's far-fetched. I am finding it increasingly more difficult to write about things that are not related to my life. If I ever want to let someone else read what I write then it shouldn't be about my secret dreams. Unfortunately those are all I have left...

The cat is mad

The cat kept trying to rub his face on the cds in the cd case and knocking them over so I pushed him away and gave him a pop on the nose. So now he's glaring at me.
Well I pet him and now he's happy again. We should all try to be more like cats. A quick pat on the head and a rub to the the end of the tail makes everything seem better. What he really wanted was food but oh well. People are like that too sometimes, being told no makes them mad but the offer of food and some love makes it all better.
I wish that was all it took to soothe my temper sometimes. There are certain people that push all the wrong buttons, intentionally and unintentionally. I get so mad that sometimes it's all I can do not to start spouting off. It's amazing the extremes they can send my emotions to. Sometimes I see it as more of a psycholigical experiment but sometimes it's just too hard to seperate myself from the situation. I really want the situation to just go away because whenever it presents itself I find myself wanting more and more to get the other person more involved in it than me. It wouldn't be very hard, it would only take a minute alone. It wouldn't really solve anything and I doubt I would feel any better after it was done but for a moment I would feel better. As soon as the moment was over I would feel worse. Or maybe I wouldn't. I would have completed an objective I had come up with as soon as I met the person.